That's What Friends Are For

I am having a crazy busy but fun week. But wait, that could probably describe every week of my life. Because with 4 kids, how can life not be crazy busy and fun every single day?

I had coffee with a friend one day, which was fun because I got to talk to a grown up, but also because I got to chase Mathilda around Starbucks while half the people in there gave me dirty looks and the other half thought it was cute that she was running from me while looking over her shoulder and laughing at me. Another day I had lunch with a friend, which was fun because I got to eat a meal and talk to a grown up without any of my children present. I also had a fantastic hour and a half long walk and talk with yet another friend, which was fantastic until my hand and arm started going numb and then my chiropractor told me the next day I shouldn't do that anymore. I worked in Lucy's preschool class, which is always fun because I get to hang out with my kid and a whole bunch of other sweet preschoolers. I hosted a preschool board meeting at my house, which involved lots of cleaning and shuffling children around, but was also fun because I enjoy spending time with the preschool ladies. I went to parent teacher conferences for Bethany and Connor, which were both great. I read a good book, The Atlas of Love by Laurie Frankel, which I also wrote a review on that will soon be published on luxuryreading.com. Mathilda and I did some more shopping at Macy's, where I bought $138 worth of clothes for $23. For myself! Tomorrow night Chris and I are going out, just the two of us. Overnight!

Those are the highlights I can think of at the moment. Well there are lots of others too. Like rainy Wednesday, when Lucy walked outside and said, "boy this sure is a lovely day" without one ounce of sarcasm. And Mathilda falling asleep last night while I read to her and Lucy - a first! (the falling asleep part, not the reading part) Like getting an email from Connor's teacher letting me know that several of the grades on his report card were wrong - the real grades are better. Like Bethany and Connor making their own lunches Thursday morning, without being asked, even though it was a half day (they had forgotten, but they had lunches ready to eat when they got home from school). Like convincing Chris we should go to IKEA soon because I think we finally figured out where I can have a sewing area but we need some stuff to facilitate our plans (might not seem like a big deal, but IKEA is Chris's nemesis. seriously).

So back to that book, The Atlas of Love. I won't give away too much, but it's a story about friendship that has really had me thinking about friends this week. I am blessed to have some wonderful friends who are supportive and generous and fun and loyal. Making friends is not easy for me. It just isn't . I'm not an open book. I'm quiet, very quiet, around people I don't know well. Not everyone is patient enough to get to know me. It's hard for me to be comfortable enough to open up and let down my guard. I'm doing slightly better nowadays, but I missed out on lots of opportunity for friendship in college, which is when the book takes place. I don't think I made a single friend in college. Not one. So reading about college friends who made a commitment to raise a child together made me nostalgic for a time that never existed for me. Not that I didn't have any good times in college...I just never met anyone during that period of my life who would have happily and lovingly stepped up to help me raise my baby, had I become pregnant during that time, which of course I didn't. I didn't let anyone get to know me well enough to care enough about me to be willing to make sacrifices for me. I was on lock down for a long time, and I'm not sure why. Sometimes I feel like the lone introvert in a world of extroverts. Spending time with friends does makes life richer and fuller and generally more worthwhile all the way around. For awhile I kind of forgot that, but I'm glad I've remembered now. Maybe this is just a super long-winded way of saying I love my friends. Thank you for all the wonderful ways you complement my life.

No Girls Allowed

Connor had some buddies over to celebrate his birthday on Friday evening, which was really great because typically he is just floundering in a sea of girls. I love that when he is with his friends his number one most commonly used word is dude, and when he is not with his friends he never ever says dude. I'm sure he enjoyed playing Mario Brothers with his friends way more than he enjoys playing it with his 4 year old sister, who is the most lazy video game player ever. I'm also pretty sure he was thrilled that the boys in the house were outnumbering the girls for once. Besides playing the Wii, the kids each made their own pizza, played Bey Blades and Lego Ninja-whatever-you-call-'ems, ate cake and ice cream, and that's about it. 

After Connor's last guest had left, Chris and I took all 4 kids to his mom's to spend the night. Which turned out to be a good thing since Chris woke me up at 3:30 in the morning to let me know our basement was flooding. And then I was up, like for the day. Fun night that was. Gotta love living in a flood zone. But we got lucky and moved everything that needed to be moved before anything got ruined, and got a plumber out pretty early Saturday morning to snake our line (damn tree roots + snow thaw + rain = bad news).  

The irony too was that after all the snow melted it snowed yet again Saturday. Hahahaha. Pay no attention to me as I use every ounce of self control available to my being to not lose my mind while I'm not very patiently waiting for Spring's arrival.  I am dreaming of a green backyard with no mud, flowers blooming all around, kids riding bikes, leaving the house without being bogged down in winter gear, ice-free sidewalks, turning off the furnace and opening the windows, cooking on the grill, and open-toe shoes. Soon...

Here's To You, Connor George

I clearly remember the day Connor was born, March 3, 2003. My doctor scheduled an induction 10 days early because I was contracting and dilating for weeks before my due date, yet never felt anything stronger than Braxton Hicks contractions. He was concerned about me maybe delivering in the backseat of my car or in some random public restroom if we waited any longer. When I arrived at the hospital at the appointed time, I was already 7 cm dilated (which I thought was crazy at the time, and it is pretty unusual, but I was also 7 cm dilated when I got to the hospital to be induced with both Lucy and Mathilda). Connor came into the world nice and easy, a foreshadowing of his mellow and sweet personality. My labor and delivery were quick; Connor was born less than 3 hours after I arrived at the hospital. Our camera would not work so Chris sprinted to the drug store adjacent to the hospital to get a disposable camera. It seemed to take forever for the nurse to clean him and for the doctor to stitch me up. I remember waiting impatiently to hold him. And he sat there so nicely with the nurse, drinking his little bottle with his tiny ankles crossed. 

Bethany was 18 months old when Connor was born, which blows my mind because she seemed so grown up to me already at that point, and she was younger than Mathilda is now. I love that she doesn't remember a time without Connor, that the two of them have been two peas in a pod for 8 years now. Countless times they have been mistaken for twins.

Connor let me hold him and cuddle him, a welcome change from his independent older sister, who only wanted to be put in her crib when she was ready to sleep and never wanted to be held once she became mobile. He was cautious from the start, never taking a step until he was sure he wouldn't fall. He didn't fuss much as a baby, and continues to this day to be pretty much about the most easy going kid you could meet. 

Like me, Connor is introverted and quiet. Like Chris, he has a crazy sense of humor. By the time he was 2, his parlor trick was naming just about every Star Wars character you could think of. For years he had a fake laugh that we asked him to do all the time, and a deep, distinct voice. During his preschool years, he proclaimed himself to be "out of kisses" for over a year, and then one day they were back in stock and that was the end of that. A thumb sucker since infancy, Connor let us know he would be done when he was 5 years old. He woke up on his fifth birthday and never sucked his thumb again. Connor is quirky, silly and smart, and gobbles up books just as I did at his age (and forever more...). He's imaginative (there was that comic book thing), yet he's a total realist and can't pass up an opportunity to remind Lucy that those princesses she loves aren't real. My son valiantly carries on in a world full of girls, which I imagine will bring him much happiness and popularity when he's in high school and his friends are all interested in his sisters and he's interested in his sisters' friends. Until then, however...he deals quite well with the inundation of Barbies, princesses, fashion shows and sparkly make-up.

I would love to include a nice photo montage here of Connor since birth, but since I haven't yet begun to work on that goal of mine to organize all of my photos, I only have readily available, at the moment, pictures from the last few years.

5th Birthday - 2008

Preschool Bike Day

Tongue Roller

Holding a big snake in Florida

6th Birthday

Holding Mathilda at the hospital

7th Birthday

We celebrated Connor's 8th birthday with a family dinner at home, hamburgers and fries - birthday boy's pick. I made a brownie cheesecake, which looked pretty and tasted good.

Happy, happy birthday Connor Patrick. You have been a wonderful joy in my life for the past 8 years. Thank you for the being the very best son I could ever imagine having.

That Whole Mean Girl Thing

Having three daughters, drama is most definitely not a new concept to me. However, I am seeing the drama of pre-adolescent girls manifest itself in new and ugly ways lately. Bethany has some friends who take drama to a new level. Ugh. My sensitive girl is having a hard time dealing with hormonal friends who want to be besties one day and never want to speak to her again the next day for reasons she is finding it difficult to ascertain. Jealousy is rampant...ridiculous one-upping stories are being told, and punishments in the way of withholding friendship are being doled out for imaginary or grossly exaggerated offenses.

The entire fourth grade put together an endangered animals museum after school today to share with families. Each child had done a report on an endangered animal and created a model to display. Chris and I fought the crowd with three kids, one in a stroller, and found Bethany sitting at her station in tears. A friend with whom she had been having a jolly good time just a couple days ago was angry with her, and Bethany couldn't quite figure out why. So badly I wanted to approach the little girl and tell her to get her butt over to Bethany to apologize STAT. To ask her if it was making her feel good inside knowing that she was hurting her friend and making her cry. I walked right past her. It was hard not saying anything to her. Really hard. But I know I can't fight Bethany's battles for her. At least not this kind. I can only listen and advise and hope she chooses her friends wisely and treats them as she wants them to treat her. 

I remember similar incidents at that age...running to the girls' room in tears, confused and wondering what I did wrong to invoke the wrath of a mean girl who was also my good friend on better days. The thing I didn't know then was that maybe I didn't do anything. Maybe it had nothing to do with me. Maybe this girl was having feelings and emotions she couldn't understand and was taking it out on me. Maybe she had an urge to just be a bitch and didn't yet know how to get that urge under wraps. Maybe this girl who messed with Bethany today is actually a really good kid who just hasn't figured out yet how to deal with emotional highs and lows and bad moods that make you want to punch someone hard. Maybe she was ticked about something else and took it out on my daughter. Maybe Bethany did do something to tick her off.

Whatever the case, seeing my girl with tears running down her face and a look of heartbroken confusion makes me just want to hug her tight and put her in a protective bubble. I hate that she has to learn these lessons. I hate that she has to deal with people hurting her. But I hope that she learns enough from it to remember what it feels like so she takes special care not to make anyone else feel like she has been made to feel. I hope she learns how to be a better friend because of it.

Skeptics: Take Note

Since my health scare last month, when I wound up in the ER, I've been seeing a chiropractor regularly. After studying x-rays of my spine, he concluded that there is a whole lot wrong with it, including some congenital abnormalities. He thinks it is entirely possible that all of my symptoms were caused by my problematic spine. I'm still going to follow up with an MRI and a neurologist as soon as I can, but in the meantime I'm being adjusted a lot. 

I don't know how he just feels along my spine and knows where to tap with his little thingamajig, but somehow he does and I have noticed a huge difference in how I feel. I'm pretty sure I had just gotten used to a new normal of stiff shoulders and a stiff neck, because I didn't even think much of it until the stiffness started to disappear almost immediately after my first adjustment. After nine adjustments, I'd say 5 out of 7 days the stiffness and pain I was used to experiencing almost constantly is 80-90% gone.The pretty severe headaches I was experiencing 2-3 times a week have dwindled down as well; I've had just 3 over the last 3 weeks, and for the most part they haven't been as bad. When my Aunt Rose (*wink*wink*) came for a visit recently, I didn't have my usual day of cramps/exhaustion/misery that I always have during that time. In fact, I felt great.  The numbness and lack of feeling in my right had I've been experiencing quite a bit since my first episode back in November have improved as well.

Are all of these positive things I'm noticing a result of chiropractic adjustments to my spine? I'm thinking yes, there is a good chance of that. I've been keeping a health log, for a couple reasons. I want to monitor any odd symptoms and how I'm feeling in general in case I do have another one of my episodes. And I also want to track my progress with the adjustments. It's not quite been a month since I've started and I'm anxious to see how the next few months go. I'm feeling blessed and optimistic, and a little less scared of another frightening occurrence.