...Like A Stranger In The Night

Don't worry, this is not where I share with you from my journals of unpublished poetry. (I don't have any, cause if I did, well, no promises).

So I woke up this morning and realized I haven't nursed Mathilda in like 3 or 4 days. Whoa. Oh my GOD. I never thought she was going to release me from her evil clutches. In fact, not long ago I seem to remember tears in the middle of the night. My tears. And maybe a teensy bit of ranting, something about never being freed of my servitude to a little person with a huge will to nurse forever. And then suddenly I woke up today and realized it's over. Like it was a huge joke.        

Hahaha. You really thought I was serious about that? Breast milk? Eh. It's okay I guess.

I've definitely been all over the board on the nursing thing. I don't judge any mother for whatever choices she makes on the milk front. Because I've done it all, from nursing at first and then switching to formula, to straight formula from day one, to doing both formula and nursing for 18 months, and finally, exclusively nursing a child who would rather starve (loudly) than touch a bottle. Now that those days are behind me, I have to say, I wish I had had the fortitude to stick out the nursing with the first two. And I say that in a totally non-preachy way, because I really don't care how you feed your baby. It's just in my 20/20 hindsight, I can see that if I had just suffered through the first few torturous months, I would have survived and it would have become much easier eventually.  

Nursing is great for lazy people who don't want to mix formula and wash bottles. And for people who don't like to sleep. (hey don't let this deter you if you are right at this moment debating: breast or bottle? because you could get lucky and have a nurser who likes to sleep. I've heard they do exist.) Because on the plus side, those two little formula fed babies slept like rocks, and for that I was so grateful. 

I'm glad to have resolved the hostage situation with my body, but honestly, I think I will miss nursing a little bit. Not that I wasn't TOTALLY ready for it to be over, it's just that Mathilda is a big girl now and so busy. Snuggling on my lap doesn't hold as much appeal for her anymore. So here I go again sniffling about my baby growing up.