Life Doesn't Always Have to Be Scary

I was raised, with the best of intentions, in fear. The purpose was to keep me safe, but at times the over-protectiveness was a bit stifling.

Cooking, for example, is a mystery to me that I just sort of stumble through because, well, we George's like to eat. But my mom never taught me to cook since she was absolutely certain I would burn the house down if I got near the stove. Luckily I can read and more or less follow a recipe, but there are times I think to myself, "shouldn't I have learned how to do this like 20 years ago?"

And I suppose my mom never taught me to sew because then I would have, you know, pricked my finger and fallen into the inevitable sleep of 100 years. Because that is what always happens when you mess with dangerous sewing needles. My aunt gave me a sewing machine a few years ago, by the way, and I've pretty much taught myself how to use it (and lived to tell!). However, the truth is I don't exactly know what I'm doing. Which is kind of sad since my mom and her sisters can sew like nobody's business. 

I don't mean to pick on my mom. I was an only child. So I naturally lived in a parallel universe where danger lurked around every corner. Particularly perilous were the unassuming, "safe" seeming things; you know, like puppy dogs and parked cars. Anyone who knows my mom will be nodding in acknowledgment right about now, because I am not exaggerating. At all.

Now that I'm a parent myself, I know how absolutely terrifying it sometimes feels to let go and give my children opportunities to explore and learn, and how unnerving it can be to stand back even though they might get hurt. Last summer when Bethany wanted to ride her bike around the block, I hyperventilated a little but I let her do it. Okay, it took some convincing, but I let her do it. And I didn't follow her. (I did make her take her brother). When she asks to cook scrambled eggs or grilled cheese sandwiches, I panic slightly on the inside, but I agree - with only a minimal number of reminders to be careful. I may have been known to say something like "don't catch your hair on fire" once or twice, but geeze, that could happen.

But the thing is, I don't want my kids to live in a world of "what if?". I want them to take chances and push themselves out of their comfort zones and do things they never thought they were capable of. 

I don't want them to be afraid to LIVE. 

I don't want them to wait until they're living in a dorm with no clean underwear to learn how to use a washing machine. Although where's the danger there? Maybe that one had more to do with fear of material damage. Or else the drowning thing. Because you know a 2x4 could randomly fall from the ceiling, hit you in the head and knock you out cold, thereby causing you to fall head first into the washing machine, left to drown with no one around to help you. It could happen.  

A little bit of fear is a good thing. If fear keeps my kids from doing drugs or drinking and driving or going to bed without brushing their teeth, well I'm totally okay with that. Yes! Be afraid! But I guess I want them to save the fear for the big stuff. And I'll try to do the same.

(even though it's really, really hard).

 
 

Snip, Snip; Sniff, Sniff

Our baby making days are officially over. Chris bravely faced his own 

personal V-Day yesterday. He is sore but relieved, oh so very relieved. 

Not that he doesn't love being a father of four, but being a father of  

five is decidedly not on his agenda. 

As a friend pointed out to me, perhaps the anticipation of this event has 

spurred my recent melancholia concerning the rapidly passing youth of my 

little chickies. Maybe so, and I do miss the younger baby days. But I think

I'm ready to move forward, to a life that will never again include maternity 

clothes and epidurals, and that will soon no longer involve nursing and 

diapers.I will enjoy my ever expanding freedom as my kids grow more and 

more independent. Even while periodically wishing I could go back in time 

and smell that new baby scent once again, and hold their tiny little fingers, 

and kiss their delicious itty bitty ears.

In the not-too-distant horizon, I can almost see a life where all of my kids are in school, every day. Where no one needs me to wipe their bottoms or pour them some juice (as soon as I sit down to eat my already cold meal). Where I can maybe think about going back to school, or having a career, or going grocery shopping alone anytime I want to. I have to admit, it sounds kind of nice. I am looking forward to this new life, but I will also savor the moments and milestones along the way to it. I will hold their 9,7,4, and 1 year old hands, and kiss their 10,8,5, and 2 year old ears. And maybe sometimes I will still think, "what if?", but I will know in my heart that I would have lost my mind with one more baby, so it's best that we stopped with four.

I'm About To Enter Another Dimension

I think I must be living in the twilight zone. How else to explain that this little girl...

is going to Kindergarten this very year? I filled out the registration paperwork, gathered up the required documents, and I'll be dropping everything off at the school office tomorrow. But since time and space have no meaning, that means I can just go back to those sweet baby days  ^ any time I want to, right? Right??? 

Maybe her next birthday would be a more appropriate time to reminisce my sweet Lucy's babyhood, but...but...she's going to Kindergarten! This fall! Holy cow!

When I discovered I was expecting Lucy, my Grandma was fading from this world quickly. Although the pregnancy wasn't planned, I felt so happy and at peace with it. Of course I was happy and excited when I was pregnant with Bethany and Connor too, but my third felt different somehow. Maybe just because I was in my 30's as opposed to my 20's, or more experienced as a mother, or because I really wanted another baby but didn't quite believe it would ever happen. All I know is that when I look back at that point in my life, it was one of my most joyful times. Which is really kind of weird because my Grandma was so very sick, and I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. When she passed away, I hadn't yet learned that Lucy was going to be a girl. I wish I had known so I could have told my Grandma that her fourth great-grandchild was going to be named after her. 

I used to think, when she was in-utero, that Lucy could understand me when I talked to her.  Later in my pregnancy, when I would find myself worrying because she wasn't moving around much (hello? not much room in there), I would ask her to please move so I wouldn't worry. And she did.

When Lucy was born, the peaceful feeling continued. I decided to try nursing again, after a disastrous attempt with Bethany. I kept at it, talking myself through the horrible pain and...well I won't go into details, let's just say it was uncomfortable. But I made it through the ugly part and before too long it wasn't so hard, and I was really proud of myself for making it work this time. She was a horrible sleeper, which was a blow after having my first two champion sleeper-through-the-nighters. I seem to remember the pediatrician telling me it was about time I "got a real baby." But oddly, I didn't really mind. She slept with us and prevented me from getting a good night sleep for about 18 months. Yet somehow I was patient and enjoyed the time with her. Even before she could talk, we always kind of had a way of understanding each other. Sometimes I wonder if my Grandma came back to me in the form of a lively little sass-pot named Lucy Margaret George.

My Lucy continues to be a source of endless joy in my life, although she can sometimes be, ahem, challenging.  She skipped right past the terrible 2's, and didn't really start with the tyrannical 3's until she was thoroughly convinced Mathilda was a permanent fixture in our family. Nonetheless, Lucy is a good big sister (most of the time) and a good(ish) little sister (most of the time). She is sweet and loving and generous and cuddly and has cheeks I just want to gobble up. And I really don't know how it is possible that she is going off to Kindergarten this fall.

K.I.S.S.

Keep It Simple Stupid. 

(Or the friendlier version, Keep It Simple Silly)

I like to make things complicated for myself, I think I always have. I remember when I was planning my wedding, I read in one of my six ton wedding-extravaganza magazines that the average bride-to-be tries on 8 wedding dresses before finding the perfect one. I was dumbfounded. Eight? Seriously? I went to twice that many stores and tried on countless dresses. The same with my cake. Fondant cakes were hard to come by in this area 12 years ago, but that's what I wanted (and that's what I got). Chris and I searched high and low for a bakery that could make us a fondant cake we could afford (jackpot at Christine's Pastries in Clinton Township ~ definitely some of the most yummilicious cakes EVER!). We did end up with a beautiful wedding, and my dress, well if I could think of some excuse to wear it again (in my fantasy life where it still fits me, of course) I totally would. Right now. I love it and I will be heartbroken if none of my daughters wear it someday.


When I was pregnant with Bethany, I wanted to decorate her nursery in a friendly bug and garden theme. Before Target came out with a line of friendly bug and garden kids bedroom accessories. I scoured eBay, stenciled walls with butterflies and flowers, enlisted my mom to paint clouds and a sunshine on the ceiling, and got really creative. It was fun, but would have been so much easier if I had just gone with a more popular theme.


I sometimes like things so complicated that I don't get anything done. I have a vision, but can't figure out exactly how to carry out that vision, so instead of just going the easier route, I fret and procrastinate and end up with nothing to show for anything. If I don't have time to do things thoroughly and completely the way I want them done, instead of taking a short cut or just getting the job partially finished, I don't do anything. 


There has to be a better way. I'm trying to train myself to keep things simple. Complexity is not always a selling point. Doing something the same as someone else, to save myself from figuring out a new way, does not have to be a bad thing. Someone else often knows better. Partially finishing a task might be better than not starting it at all in some cases.


Easy, simple, classic meals are okay. I don't have to think of something new to cook for dinner every night (and then when I can't think of anything, everyone eats frozen pizza or cereal instead ~ is that really better than an old stand-by recipe?).


Easy, simple, classic outfits are often just right. It's not necessary to leave the house naked because I can't find the perfect clothes, or to wear something I might not be comfortable in. (Kidding about the naked thing. Bet you were wondering.) 


Easy, simple activities are usually best for the kids. I am not a cruise director. Playing hide and seek, board games, cuddling up with movies, kid-lead arts and crafts and made-up games are more fun than contrived activities that are sometimes more work than they're worth. The great thing about this is I have four kids. My very own play group. Put them together and one of them is sure to come up with something fun to do. And I don't have to organize it. Although sometimes it's fun to plan something that requires some adult interference. Sometimes.


I already wrote about my New Year's Resolutions in my last post, but I'd like to add K.I.S.S. to that list. Actually it is more of a lifetime goal than a mere resolution for the year. I want to move toward simplicity as a way of life. More or less.

Welcoming 2011

Yesterday morning I woke up and it was spring! What a way to bring in the New Year! Fifty degrees and no trace of snow! Of course I do live in Michigan, so 24 hours later and it's back to the reality of winter. (boo)

Well we got through the holidays intact and I can't believe the kids are already going back to school tomorrow.  They may suffer a bit from screen withdrawal since we've been letting them turn their brains to mush at their own discretion for the past week. (Disclaimer: They've also spent tons of time with friends and family and playing with the millions of new toys in our house. So it hasn't all been a zombified wash.) But still, their heads might explode this week when they're forced to do things like reading, talking as opposed to screaming, and walking past the Wii and the PS3 without turning them on.

I've been thinking a little about New Year's resolutions. I know nobody needs a date on the calendar to tell them it's okay or an appropriate time to make life changes. But the start of the new year is symbolic of a fresh start, and after the craziness of the holidays, I am ready to re-evaluate my life and think of things I'd like to accomplish this year. Here are a few things on my mind:

• Take better care of myself. The reality is I'm not getting any younger, and since I have no health insurance (and thus never go to the doctor unless I'm pregnant...which is SO not happening), I really need to be extra vigilant about my health. I need to eat better, take vitamins, drink more water, and get regular exercise.
• Pamper myself a little more. I've heard tales of women who get their hair cut more than once a year...that can't possibly be true?!
• Write more, and maybe even take a writing class or two.
• Spend more time with my friends.
• Send my kids outside to play until they love it and never want to come in. This is going to be a year of bike rides, pool time, picnics, digging in the dirt and maybe even playing in the snow. I'm contemplating something drastic, like no television all summer. I'm not sure any of us would make it out alive...but it might be a risk I'm willing to take.
• Take up jogging and run a 5K. That might not seem very ambitious to some, but to me it would be a huge deal. 
• Get caught up with Mt. Laundry and stay caught up. A daunting task with a family of 6, but I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...
• Create a work area for myself somewhere in my house where I can sew or whatever. One that doesn't involve the dining room table and everyone eating in the family room every time I'm in the middle of a project.
• Learn to crochet. I've been wanting to do this forever. 
• Take a family camping trip. It's been way too long since we've done this, and we had such a memorable experience last time. 

I am excited reading my list and thinking about what an awesome year this is going to be. I'd love to know what everyone else is planning for 2011.