Bethany is 12

Twelve years ago, I became a mother. I remember the day well. My doctor called in the morning with some test results, and told me to get to the hospital so I could be induced. I remember laying in bed when the phone rang, and being a little shocked at the news. It was just one day before my due date, but still, this was it! The scary moment I'd been anticipating and dreading had arrived. I was terrified and excited in almost equal measure. Things weren't happening as I'd read in my books. There were no contractions, my water didn't break. Just a phone call telling us that it was time, that our baby would be there that day.

Meeting Bethany was an overwhelmingly joyous occasion. How to even begin to describe it to someone who has not experienced becoming a parent? The world was one way, and now it is another. Suddenly the old way is forgotten. There is just this tiny baby, with red hair (I had so hoped for red hair!), who was living inside my body and is now in my arms. I felt strangely alien. Did this child really come out of me?

Twelve is a big deal. It is still a little girl, but very grown up. My mind is blown that it's been 12 years since I got that phone call. Twelve years since my entire world has changed so completely.

Every day for 12 years I have been stunned by Bethany's beauty and strength. I have been stunned by my ability to love another human being so very much.

By her next birthday, Bethany will be taller than me. She showers without being told and does her own hair. She has strong opinions about everything from fashion to food and everything in between. When she is sick, I am no longer consumed by nurse duties. She goes in the kitchen and makes her own soup or cup of tea. Perhaps being the oldest has played a role in making her grow up fast, but that is tempered with her natural inclination to do things herself - which was made evident very soon after her birth. As an infant, Bethany wanted only to be left alone when she was tired. She did not require rocking and lullabies to get to sleep, she required being put down.

My little red headed princess is comfortably nestled in the middle school years, with high school no longer a far off thought but just a blink of an eye away. For her birthday she wanted highlights, and after YEARS of her asking (and askingandaskingandasking), I finally gave in. I had to face the facts that by her age I had ruined my hair with Sun-In. I didn't want the same fate for her, so I took her to the salon and had it done right. Here she is, so grown up and beautiful, yet still the same silly kid she's always been. That's a Dum Dum in her mouth, by the way.

Bethany is a doer, a girl with a plan. At the salon, she whipped out her phone and had pictures ready to show the stylist just how she wanted her hair. She has had her first day of school outfit picked out for a week, and school doesn't start for another week. She makes lists and has so many ideas. She figures things out.

My baby girl is 12. I can't believe it.

Invite Arbor Mist Frozen Wine Cocktails to Your Next Party

A couple weeks ago we had an intimate family gathering to celebrate Bethany's 11th birthday. The day of the party was busily  spent getting our house cleaned up and ready for our guests, grocery shopping, and preparing food. When we got home from the grocery store, there was a package from SheSpeaks on the porch. As soon as I saw the box, I got excited because receiving packages is one of the highlights of my life. I like ordering stuff online just to see that UPS truck pulling up to my house. And as it turned out it was a serendipitous delivery because it was full of Arbor Mist Frozen Wine Cocktails, just in time for our party!


I was happy to have something different to serve our (adult) guests, and they were delighted to sample! I received three different flavors: Blackberry Merlot, Strawberry White Zinfandel, and White Pear Pinot Grigio. They come in individually portioned packages and they are not frozen when purchased. Just pop them in the freezer when you're ready to enjoy! The package says they need about five hours in the freezer, but I put mine in the freezer as soon as I opened the box, and my guests started arriving about three hours later. Guess what? We didn't wait, and they didn't mind! Everyone who had one loved it, even though they were perhaps not as frozen as they were meant to be.

I like that the Arbor Mist Frozen Wine Cocktails are individually portioned, because often times a bottle of wine gets opened at our house and goes to waste because we're not big drinkers. This is something I can keep in the freezer, and if a guest would like a drink I can take one out and give him or her a nice, refreshing beverage. Just freeze for five hours, gently massage, and then squeeze into a glass. Voila! My hostess status just went through the roof. And because they require no mixing, no blender, and no ice, they are incredibly convenient and easy.

Do you have any special hostess tricks up your sleeve, to make your guests feel especially welcome?

For more information about SheSpeaks campaigns,  please follow @shespeaksup on Twitter. To get the latest updates from Arbor Mist, please follow @EnjoyArborMist on Twitter.

Thank you SheSpeaks and Arbor Mist for the samples. No other compensation was received, and all opinions are my own.

Eleven

The birthday girl

Bethany had a birthday on the 20th, and now, unbelievably, I have an 11-year old daughter. This is surreal because she was just born.

Eleven years old. I remember 11. Pretty clearly actually, which for me is amazing because I have a horrible memory. It was a pretty eventful year, what with finishing elementary school, starting middle school, and all the associated drama. But it was fun too. My friends and I were tight. We had a good time. I was starting to feel pretty grown up.

I used to think Bethany and I were very different. In some ways we are. She is so loud. I am quiet. She is an extrovert and I am an introvert. She has always been confident, whereas confidence is something I struggle with, even as an adult. But the older she gets, the more I see our similarities. The 11-year old me wasn't so different from the 11-year old Bethany. I was so anxious to grow up! I was all about the make-up and the shopping and the clothes and the accessories. I sassed my mom and thought I knew better than she. Every freaking thing embarrassed me. I wanted to hang out with my friends all the time. I had a lot of friends, from all different groups, just like Bethany. I liked to write, and so does she. We are different in many ways too, but I wonder how much of that has to do with our vastly different childhoods. If our childhoods were more alike, would we be even more similar to one another?

Bethany drives me plenty crazy, but she also makes me beaucoup proud. I can count on her. Actually, I can count on her so well that I have to watch myself so that I don't count on her too much. She's a good friend. She speaks up for what she believes in. She is a terrific big sister, even if she does take that position a little too seriously at times. Her kindergarten teacher used to tell me that she tried to run the class, and in the same spirit she tries to rule the roost by lording it over her younger siblings. She is creative and full of ideas and plans. She is tech savvy. She saves me the trouble of giving her sisters manicures and pedicures. She amazes me when she does flips on the trampoline or climbs like a monkey. (Physically speaking, we truly are very different. She's athletic, flexible, and graceful. Me, not so much.)

My little girl is 11 years old. I can scarcely believe it's true, but it is. In two weeks she'll be in middle school. I hope 11 is good to her. I hope it will bring her lots of fun times and good memories. Happy Birthday, baby girl. Eleven or not, you will always be my baby.

Double Digits

So my baby girl is 10. Over the weekend, we had fun celebrating her first decade of life. We furiously cleaned our house, which has been pretty much sadly neglected this summer. And I'm glad to know that Lucy's birthday is just a couple weeks away, so when we clean like maniacs for her party the task won't be nearly as foreboding. We need to have at least one good size party a month, to keep us on our toes. But I digress...

Bethany had a friend party on Saturday night. Ten kids came over and seven spent the night. I made this funfetti cake, per the birthday girl's request, except I made it from scratch just because I enjoy extra work like that, and then I decorated it with Skittles. I love the neon food color gels, and I think the Skittles (they're the ones in the orange bag) look good with the green. It was a damp, chilly day, but that didn't stop the kids from swimming and hot tubbing and cavorting like the sugar-hyped, crazed pre-teens that they are.

I love Bethany's friends. They like being at our house and I hope that never changes. I like that once in awhile one of them will just come and sit and chat with me, and maybe even put her head on my shoulder or give me a hug. I don't mind when I'm doing laundry and find an occasional stray t-shirt or pair of jeans that don't belong to anyone in my family. I don't mind making a little extra when I'm cooking a meal.


The girls were loud and stayed up late (of course), although Bethany and Lucy were the first to fall asleep. I actually have no idea how on earth they managed to sleep through that ruckus! The lights on, a movie playing, and lots of giggling and squealing, yet my daughters just obliviously kept on sleeping.


After everyone went home Sunday, we re-commenced with the cleaning because we masochists are always compelled to host at least two parties for each child's birthday. We had grandparents over for dinner, nothing major. Yet we somehow seemed to make a bigger mess with the dinner party than we did with all the kids over.


It was a good birthday weekend for Bethany. I hope ten treats her well.


How to you celebrate birthdays in your family? Do you often end up hosting more than one party as well?

I Can't Believe I've Been a Mom for 10 Years!

Growing a tail in preparation of her 10th b-day

I couldn't wait to have a baby. Could. Not. Wait. Ten years ago today, my baby girl Bethany Madeline was born and my wait was over. She came out with a head full of red hair and was making silly faces by the time she was four months old. She made me a mom and changed my life forever.

Bethany was born on a Monday afternoon, and by Friday I was wearing my size 4 pants. I had no stretch marks. I was 26 years old and a mom of one and I used to scrub and soak her clothes until there was not the tiniest inkling of a stain on one little thing. Even her socks. Before she could crawl, I would purposely leave her things around the house and in the car, so I would have constant reminders of her wherever I was. When she started to crawl I didn't have to do that anymore because she did it for me. She liked to take everything out of the kitchen cupboards and crawl inside. 

Chicago - Age 6

When Bethany was 10 months old she started to walk and run pretty much simultaneously. She was totally undeterred by falling down repeatedly. Around this time I discovered that Bethany would be having a sibling and I started to worry about how I could possibly love another little being as much as I loved her. I didn't know yet how my heart would stretch and make room and that I'd never have to worry about being able to love one of my babies enough because it happened as easy as taking a breath.

Bethany slept through the night early on and used to fall asleep listening to Billie Holiday. She was talking in sentences by the time she was one, and by the time Connor was born she was already so grown up, she didn't even seem like a baby anymore. Watching her grow was so exciting, I couldn't wait to see what she would do next. I didn't know yet how time changes when you become a parent, that everything happens so quickly and that I would later wish I could slow time just to savor a milestone or a stage a little longer. 

Age 28 months

From the start, Bethany was gregarious. She liked to talk to everyone. I remember having lunch with my Aunt Char and as we were leaving the restaurant, Bethany stopped at each and every table to wave and say good bye. I don't think she was yet two. Her first day of preschool, she ran in and never looked back. She makes friends easily and quickly and seems, even now, to have no preconceived notions about who she "should" be friends with. One of the best things one of her teachers ever told me at a parent/teacher conference was that Bethany gets along with everyone and is friends with kids from all different groups.

Bethany loves fashion and music and art. She walked on her toes for years and has had unbelievable muscle tone in her legs since she was about three. She's strong and capable and likes to take charge. She can almost fit into my shoes. And now she's 10.

Happy Birthday, Bethany!

 

Age 3 1/2 - First dance recital 

5th Birthday

Meeting Cinderella @ Disney World - Age 5