Bethany is 12

Twelve years ago, I became a mother. I remember the day well. My doctor called in the morning with some test results, and told me to get to the hospital so I could be induced. I remember laying in bed when the phone rang, and being a little shocked at the news. It was just one day before my due date, but still, this was it! The scary moment I'd been anticipating and dreading had arrived. I was terrified and excited in almost equal measure. Things weren't happening as I'd read in my books. There were no contractions, my water didn't break. Just a phone call telling us that it was time, that our baby would be there that day.

Meeting Bethany was an overwhelmingly joyous occasion. How to even begin to describe it to someone who has not experienced becoming a parent? The world was one way, and now it is another. Suddenly the old way is forgotten. There is just this tiny baby, with red hair (I had so hoped for red hair!), who was living inside my body and is now in my arms. I felt strangely alien. Did this child really come out of me?

Twelve is a big deal. It is still a little girl, but very grown up. My mind is blown that it's been 12 years since I got that phone call. Twelve years since my entire world has changed so completely.

Every day for 12 years I have been stunned by Bethany's beauty and strength. I have been stunned by my ability to love another human being so very much.

By her next birthday, Bethany will be taller than me. She showers without being told and does her own hair. She has strong opinions about everything from fashion to food and everything in between. When she is sick, I am no longer consumed by nurse duties. She goes in the kitchen and makes her own soup or cup of tea. Perhaps being the oldest has played a role in making her grow up fast, but that is tempered with her natural inclination to do things herself - which was made evident very soon after her birth. As an infant, Bethany wanted only to be left alone when she was tired. She did not require rocking and lullabies to get to sleep, she required being put down.

My little red headed princess is comfortably nestled in the middle school years, with high school no longer a far off thought but just a blink of an eye away. For her birthday she wanted highlights, and after YEARS of her asking (and askingandaskingandasking), I finally gave in. I had to face the facts that by her age I had ruined my hair with Sun-In. I didn't want the same fate for her, so I took her to the salon and had it done right. Here she is, so grown up and beautiful, yet still the same silly kid she's always been. That's a Dum Dum in her mouth, by the way.

Bethany is a doer, a girl with a plan. At the salon, she whipped out her phone and had pictures ready to show the stylist just how she wanted her hair. She has had her first day of school outfit picked out for a week, and school doesn't start for another week. She makes lists and has so many ideas. She figures things out.

My baby girl is 12. I can't believe it.

Eleven

The birthday girl

Bethany had a birthday on the 20th, and now, unbelievably, I have an 11-year old daughter. This is surreal because she was just born.

Eleven years old. I remember 11. Pretty clearly actually, which for me is amazing because I have a horrible memory. It was a pretty eventful year, what with finishing elementary school, starting middle school, and all the associated drama. But it was fun too. My friends and I were tight. We had a good time. I was starting to feel pretty grown up.

I used to think Bethany and I were very different. In some ways we are. She is so loud. I am quiet. She is an extrovert and I am an introvert. She has always been confident, whereas confidence is something I struggle with, even as an adult. But the older she gets, the more I see our similarities. The 11-year old me wasn't so different from the 11-year old Bethany. I was so anxious to grow up! I was all about the make-up and the shopping and the clothes and the accessories. I sassed my mom and thought I knew better than she. Every freaking thing embarrassed me. I wanted to hang out with my friends all the time. I had a lot of friends, from all different groups, just like Bethany. I liked to write, and so does she. We are different in many ways too, but I wonder how much of that has to do with our vastly different childhoods. If our childhoods were more alike, would we be even more similar to one another?

Bethany drives me plenty crazy, but she also makes me beaucoup proud. I can count on her. Actually, I can count on her so well that I have to watch myself so that I don't count on her too much. She's a good friend. She speaks up for what she believes in. She is a terrific big sister, even if she does take that position a little too seriously at times. Her kindergarten teacher used to tell me that she tried to run the class, and in the same spirit she tries to rule the roost by lording it over her younger siblings. She is creative and full of ideas and plans. She is tech savvy. She saves me the trouble of giving her sisters manicures and pedicures. She amazes me when she does flips on the trampoline or climbs like a monkey. (Physically speaking, we truly are very different. She's athletic, flexible, and graceful. Me, not so much.)

My little girl is 11 years old. I can scarcely believe it's true, but it is. In two weeks she'll be in middle school. I hope 11 is good to her. I hope it will bring her lots of fun times and good memories. Happy Birthday, baby girl. Eleven or not, you will always be my baby.

Gift Guide for a 3-Year Old

Mattie turned 3 last week, and she got several gifts for her birthday that were definite hits. I thought I'd share some of them here, because sometimes it's hard to figure out what to buy for a 3-year old, whether you have one of your own or not. As you'll notice, most of her gifts are suitable for boys and girls.

Little Tikes 'Lil Wagon



My kids love rides in our big red wagon, so when I saw this little version, I knew Mattie would love it. I was so right. She loves pulling dolls, stuffed animals, and toys around the house and around our court in her little mini wagon. It comes in pink too, and at first I wanted to get that one, but then I figured it would be cute if the little one matched our big one.


Melissa & Doug Sandwich Set



Melissa & Doug sets are so cute. I love them because they are well made and they foster creativity. My kids love pretend play. This set comes with over 30 felt pieces, so kids can get as crazy as they want with their sandwich creations. Lucy has been having fun with this too.


Melissa & Doug Birthday Party Cake


Another fun Melissa & Doug set! This one is made of wood. All the pieces have velcro so they stick together. There are candles, toppings, a cake platter, and a server included in the set. Lucy's been enjoying this as much as Mattie.


Melissa & Doug Playful Pets Puzzle (12 pieces)



Mattie loves puzzles, and I am a particular fan of Melissa & Doug puzzles because they are high quality and the pictures are great. This one is a wooden puzzle. She likes the pictures of the animals, and it's a good size for her.


Ty Beanie Ballz



Mattie got the large panda, and it is really pretty big. It's cute and soft, and you can toss it around like a ball. They come in different sizes and several different animals. I'm usually not the biggest fan of stuffed animals, but this one is kind of a stuffie with a twist. And Mattie loves it.


Dora's Big Birthday Adventure DVD



Mattie is a huge Dora fan. She got a few DVDs for Christmas, and we knew she would love to get this one for her birthday. I gave it to her as soon as she woke up on her birthday so she could watch it while I was taking the kids to school. It's had several viewings since then.


She also got an adorable little Minnie Mouse wheeled backpack, but I couldn't find a picture of it. So cute, and just her size. In it was a Minnie Mouse doll, which of course has been added to the massive collection of dolls on her bed. Plus she got cash, which we love because it goes straight into her bank account, and a Toys R Us gift card, which she loves because she can pick out her own stuff.

What birthday gift have you bought for a 3-year old (or that someone bought for your 3-year old) that ended up being a huge success? Or that totally bombed?

Happy Birthday, Sassy Little Sweetheart

Yesterday I had jury duty, for the first time ever. Aside from the babysitting issues, I wouldn't mind serving on a jury. But I was so afraid I would get stuck in a trial and not be able to be with my Mattie today, on her third birthday. I lucked out, and the case ended up getting resolved. So today, me and my baby girl are hanging out together while Chris is at work and the big kids are at school. I tried to convince  her to let me hold her all day and pretend she's still a baby, but she resolutely proclaimed, "I a BIG girl!" My brain knows she is a big girl, but my heart, it doth protest.

Mathilda, at three, is a whirlwind of emotions and moods. She is sassy, spunky, and sweeter than sweet. Tough and glowering one moment, and insisting that she is a ballerina and showing off a perfect twirl the next. She exasperates me with her (let's be honest) fierce crabbiness. And the next minute, she's just as likely to melt my heart as she jumps up and down and shouts, "Mama, I love you so much! Thank you for being my mama!"

We found out about Mathilda's impending arrival during one of the most stressful and trying times of our marriage. We had a lot going on. But I believe there is only one way to welcome the news of a new baby, and that is with joy. Although I always wanted to have four children, I never really thought it would happen. So in spite of everything, we embraced our happy news. The timing seemed all wrong, but now I've come to realize that the right time to have a baby is when you have a baby.

From her very first days, Mattie has tried my very last ounce of patience. I remember being in the hospital, exhausted from child birth, and just sobbing because she would not latch on and eat, even though she was clearly starving. That's pretty much how things continued to go. Before long she got the nursing thing down (and never, no exaggeration, accepted a bottle feeding), but it took her much longer to ease into a sleeping routine that the rest of us could live with. Like, 18 months longer. Just when I thought I couldn't take one more second, I would look at my baby, content to be held in my arms, and realize how lucky I was and how fleeting this time would be. With three kids under my belt already, I knew there would come a time when I'd miss holding my baby, even at the expense of sleep and sanity. And that day has come.

I no longer have a baby. I have a little girl who will be starting preschool in a few months. She walks and talks and uses the potty, and she doesn't want to be held so much anymore. She'd rather hang upside down off the couch, hop around the house like a frog, or practice her ballerina moves. I love her independence, I really do. It is joyful watching her grow; physically and emotionally. And her confidence grows with every growth spurt. Each stage (I can only speak through age 10 and a half) has its own special attributes to admire and appreciate. But as Mathilda moves onto each new one, I can't help but grieve a tiny bit for the one she just left behind. The baby days are officially a part of my past. I will never be the mama of a baby again.

I am utterly head over heels in love with my little red-headed, blue-eyed sass pot. I love her dimples and her curls. I love the ballet shoes that she insists on wearing 24/7. I love the way she climbs on our old dog Cleo and tries to ride her like a pony. I love watching her on the swings, and the way she is moved to dance the moment she hears a song she likes. I love when she runs at me full force to hug me with all of her might. I even love how she stamps her foot and shouts, "Never!" like a vexed socialite every time she's asked to do something she'd rather not do. I love her passion, and I love that she's mine. Because even though she is undoubtedly a big girl now, she will always, always be my baby.

Happy 3rd Birthday, sweet Mattie.

Lucky #9

Today Connor is 9 years old. I remember so clearly going to the hospital on the day of his birth. He was my biggest baby and my easiest labor and delivery. About two hours after I arrived at the hospital, he was born. Easy peasy. And that is pretty much how things have gone with him ever since. I never really know what people are talking about when they say that their sons are wild and crazy. Connor is mellow, kind hearted, easy going, patient, a good listener, goofy, and just plain great.

With his KitKat cake

In honor of his birthday, Connor invited some school friends to a small bowling party. Chris and I were pretty much in shock because we never have this many boys over at one time. They are crazy. They are loud. They are nutty. They are rambunctious.They are very physical. They are emotional too. But they also love to have fun. They laugh a lot. We had to stop and ask ourselves if Connor would have ended up being more of all these things if he had brothers instead of sisters. Because holy smokes I don't think either of us were prepared for piles of boys rolling all over the floor at the bowling alley, and climbing all over each other, and knocking each other down, and chasing each other all around, and throwing pop cans at each other. Um. Wow. So it was eye-opening, but also really fun. I think they all had a great time. There was a little drama too- yes there is drama with boys too! Nothing compared to girl drama, but nonetheless it was there. But I'd say the party was a success. And I can definitely say that I am 250% relieved we decided not to have his party at home this year.

Chocolate overload ~ is there such thing?

I also have a new goal, which is to make sure Connor invites his friends over once in awhile. Our house is always full of Bethany's friends, but Connor needs some more time with his buds so he can embrace his inner wild child. He rarely asks for much of anything, and is the exact opposite of demanding. So it's easy to just let things roll without asking him what he wants. His sisters are very vocal about what they want, extremely demanding, and loud if they don't get it. There is  no misunderstanding there, no way of escaping their demands. But seeing Connor have so much fun with the guys let me know that it's up to us to make sure his voice is heard too, until he learns how to make that happen for himself.

Happy birthday, Connor Patrick George. You are just the perfect son for us. Dad would go crazy without your male reinforcement. Your sisters have no idea how lucky they are to have you for a brother, but they will one day. I love your silly sense of humor, thanks for always making me laugh. I love that when I ask you to do something, you do it. I love your creativity and your insistence on wearing t-shirts every single day. I love that you love to read and that you are so kind to everyone. I love every little red hair on your head. We are so blessed to have you for our son. I hope 9 is good to you.

The Birthday Post

I decided to have a good birthday today, and so I did. I stayed up a little too late last night, and Chris tried to let me sleep in, but my children have a conspiracy to never, under any circumstances, let that happen. So naturally there were kids crying, and kids climbing in bed with me, and so on and so forth. Except Connor. In my experience, boys listen and girls need somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 million reminders. But it was still nice to stay in bed later than usual, even if I wasn't actually sleeping.

After the kids were off to school, I met my friend Angela for breakfast. Then I came home to do my hair (yeah, seriously) before heading to Secretary of State. Like every year, I put off renewing my tabs until the last possible day, and then realized I also had to renew my drivers license. It was a sunny, beautiful day for February, and, unbelievably, Secretary of State was not too busy, so I was in and out in about 20 minutes. For those who are not from these parts, Michiganders are so special that we have our own (not so) little name for the DMV, and it's Secretary of State.  I did get my enhanced drivers license, which will allow me to enter certain countries like Canada and Mexico (via land or sea) without a passport. But not until I was thoroughly interrogated. Here are the questions I was asked:

What hospital were you born in?
Were you a single child or a triplet?

Wow, they're not messing around, are they? Also, when I checked online ahead of time to see what documentation I would need, the website said to bring my drivers license, birth certificate (original), social security card, and original marriage license if my name is now different than my birth certificate. Amazingly I located everything, and it was actually all together exactly where it was supposed to be (talk about rare!). And because I found everything easily, they only asked for my drivers license and my birth certificate. I can guarantee that if I hadn't brought my social security card or my marriage license, the Secretary of State lady would have insisted that I needed them. But oh well, at least I know where everything is now. It was probably the quickest and most pleasant trip to Secretary of State that I've ever had.

I had some time to kill before my afternoon appointment with my favorite chiropractor, so I went through the McDonald's drive-thru for a caramel frappe and headed to the mall. I've had Macy's gift cards that have been taunting me since Christmas, and I was so excited to finally have a chance to do some shopping. I was hoping for some new boots, but they were all on clearance and totally picked over, so no dice there. But then I went upstairs and found a bunch of cute stuff. The best thing is that I am now the proud owner of a pair of leggings, something I haven't owned since the early 90's. This of course means that they will promptly go out of style. But I don't care. I'm never giving them up. They are so comfortable, they feel like cozy jammies. And they are slimming. I can't go wrong with these pants, they're elastic for Pete's sake, and I'm trying to figure out why the heck it took me so long to break down and get a pair. Sometimes I'm stubborn like that. Another epiphany I had at Macy's: I need one of those fitting room mirrors at home, for a little reality check before I leave the house.

After my successful shopping excursion, I went for my adjustment. I love my chiropractor, and he made me feel a  lot less crazy and confused regarding that prescription I referred to yesterday from my neurologist. I still don't totally know what I'm going to do, but I feel better. Plus his wife is my good friend so I got to hang out with her for a little bit too. She showed me the Kristen Bell sloth video from Ellen and we had a good laugh. Go ahead and watch it. It's pretty funny. You can watch the original and the autotuned version.

Later in the evening, my mom came by for a visit and so did Chris's mom and step-dad. It was a typical busy night, with basketball and dance and homework and Mathilda throwing her princess chairs around the living room until I got fed up and hid them in the basement. I got some cool gifts, including an electric hand mixer from my mom, so I no longer have to mix my cheesecake batter with a wooden spoon like I have been for the past year or so.

The whole day was just chill. I felt lots of love, with phone calls, wall posts and messages on Facebook, and spending time with my friends and family. And my birthday continues...breakfast with another friend tomorrow morning,and then lunch with yet another friend next week. I love it! Did I mention that my birthday celebration actually started last Friday with a party hosted by my friend Tina? I am so blessed. I think I'm finally starting to catch on to the appeal of this birthday thing.

Double Digits

So my baby girl is 10. Over the weekend, we had fun celebrating her first decade of life. We furiously cleaned our house, which has been pretty much sadly neglected this summer. And I'm glad to know that Lucy's birthday is just a couple weeks away, so when we clean like maniacs for her party the task won't be nearly as foreboding. We need to have at least one good size party a month, to keep us on our toes. But I digress...

Bethany had a friend party on Saturday night. Ten kids came over and seven spent the night. I made this funfetti cake, per the birthday girl's request, except I made it from scratch just because I enjoy extra work like that, and then I decorated it with Skittles. I love the neon food color gels, and I think the Skittles (they're the ones in the orange bag) look good with the green. It was a damp, chilly day, but that didn't stop the kids from swimming and hot tubbing and cavorting like the sugar-hyped, crazed pre-teens that they are.

I love Bethany's friends. They like being at our house and I hope that never changes. I like that once in awhile one of them will just come and sit and chat with me, and maybe even put her head on my shoulder or give me a hug. I don't mind when I'm doing laundry and find an occasional stray t-shirt or pair of jeans that don't belong to anyone in my family. I don't mind making a little extra when I'm cooking a meal.


The girls were loud and stayed up late (of course), although Bethany and Lucy were the first to fall asleep. I actually have no idea how on earth they managed to sleep through that ruckus! The lights on, a movie playing, and lots of giggling and squealing, yet my daughters just obliviously kept on sleeping.


After everyone went home Sunday, we re-commenced with the cleaning because we masochists are always compelled to host at least two parties for each child's birthday. We had grandparents over for dinner, nothing major. Yet we somehow seemed to make a bigger mess with the dinner party than we did with all the kids over.


It was a good birthday weekend for Bethany. I hope ten treats her well.


How to you celebrate birthdays in your family? Do you often end up hosting more than one party as well?

I Can't Believe I've Been a Mom for 10 Years!

Growing a tail in preparation of her 10th b-day

I couldn't wait to have a baby. Could. Not. Wait. Ten years ago today, my baby girl Bethany Madeline was born and my wait was over. She came out with a head full of red hair and was making silly faces by the time she was four months old. She made me a mom and changed my life forever.

Bethany was born on a Monday afternoon, and by Friday I was wearing my size 4 pants. I had no stretch marks. I was 26 years old and a mom of one and I used to scrub and soak her clothes until there was not the tiniest inkling of a stain on one little thing. Even her socks. Before she could crawl, I would purposely leave her things around the house and in the car, so I would have constant reminders of her wherever I was. When she started to crawl I didn't have to do that anymore because she did it for me. She liked to take everything out of the kitchen cupboards and crawl inside. 

Chicago - Age 6

When Bethany was 10 months old she started to walk and run pretty much simultaneously. She was totally undeterred by falling down repeatedly. Around this time I discovered that Bethany would be having a sibling and I started to worry about how I could possibly love another little being as much as I loved her. I didn't know yet how my heart would stretch and make room and that I'd never have to worry about being able to love one of my babies enough because it happened as easy as taking a breath.

Bethany slept through the night early on and used to fall asleep listening to Billie Holiday. She was talking in sentences by the time she was one, and by the time Connor was born she was already so grown up, she didn't even seem like a baby anymore. Watching her grow was so exciting, I couldn't wait to see what she would do next. I didn't know yet how time changes when you become a parent, that everything happens so quickly and that I would later wish I could slow time just to savor a milestone or a stage a little longer. 

Age 28 months

From the start, Bethany was gregarious. She liked to talk to everyone. I remember having lunch with my Aunt Char and as we were leaving the restaurant, Bethany stopped at each and every table to wave and say good bye. I don't think she was yet two. Her first day of preschool, she ran in and never looked back. She makes friends easily and quickly and seems, even now, to have no preconceived notions about who she "should" be friends with. One of the best things one of her teachers ever told me at a parent/teacher conference was that Bethany gets along with everyone and is friends with kids from all different groups.

Bethany loves fashion and music and art. She walked on her toes for years and has had unbelievable muscle tone in her legs since she was about three. She's strong and capable and likes to take charge. She can almost fit into my shoes. And now she's 10.

Happy Birthday, Bethany!

 

Age 3 1/2 - First dance recital 

5th Birthday

Meeting Cinderella @ Disney World - Age 5

Reunion

My kids finally came home late this afternoon. I was happy to see them. I missed them, but I was totally fine with them being gone for a few days. I'm going to forgo the mommy guilt and call that "healthy." I knew they were safe and happy to be with their grandparents, and I enjoyed the special one-on-one time with Mattie. 

Chris's mom's birthday is tomorrow, so we celebrated today when she and her husband brought the kids home.Which meant that instead of being outside and enjoying this beautiful summer-like weather, I was inside cleaning and baking a carrot cake, which is my mother-in-law's favorite. I didn't have any cake mix, and believe me I'm totally not above a nice and simple box of cake mix, and didn't want to go to the store, so I broke out the Betty Crocker cookbook and found a recipe for carrot cake. If I do say so myself, it came out pretty awesome. I frosted it with homemade cream cheese frosting. You just can't beat good old Betty Crocker. Everyone liked it, even Bethany who normally doesn't like carrot cake.

 

 
We had a nice dinner and then migrated to the family room to play Just Dance 2.Even Chris played, it was pretty funny. Connor kicked everyone's butt (!!). He says the trick is to not move too much, which completely negates the exercise/fitness aspect of the game, but he's 8 and skinny as a bean pole so I guess he isn't too concerned with how many calories he's burning while playing the Wii.

Anyway, my children are all nestled all snug in their beds, and that makes me a happy mama.  

She's Not A Baby Anymore

Yesterday Mathilda turned two. While she will always be my baby, I guess I have to face that she is not truly a baby anymore. She is so done with the high chair, feeds herself, has an opinion about what she wears, and gets herself snacks out of the cupboard. She wants to do what the big kids are doing...she is becoming a big kid herself.

Mathilda was born during a tumultuous time in my life. We had a lot going on. I tried to go back 2 years on my Facebook page to see what my exact post was the week Mathilda was born, but after going back one year I lost patience and gave up. I know it was something like:

To do this week: Move into our new house, attend two soccer games, dance rehearsals, finish school projects, grocery shopping, and oh yeah! Give birth!! 

And she wasn't easy, not from the first. I remember being utterly exhausted in the hospital and crying in the middle of the night because she was so hungry yet she wouldn't nurse. She wasn't a good sleeper, she refused to take a bottle, and she wanted to be with me always. As much as she frustrated me, she melted my heart with the way she needed me and snuggled up to me and wanted me to hold her...and hold her...and hold her. Now that she's two, Mathilda is still a study in dichotomous behavior: the sweet, loving and affectionate Mathilda vs. the demanding, loud & sassy little bully Mathilda. Her expressions are priceless, and deciphering her emerging vocabulary is both amusing and challenging. I am enamored with my little blue-eyed red headed stinker, who loves to watch Diego, would rather gallop than walk, is more transfixed by books than just about anything, has a beautiful head of hair that always looks like it's just been styled, carries around a baby doll with her most of the time (usually Tiana, aka Princess and the Frog), now knows what the magic word is, and yesterday told me, "my cute dress" with the hugest smile on her face when I got her dressed.Yes Mathilda, I think we'll keep you.

A couple weeks before she was born...Bethany's First Communion day

Birth Day!

Meeting the siblings for the first time

Sleeping with her friend Chloe at the Henry Ford Museum

First Halloween...little spider

Baptism Day

First Christmas

Disney World 2010

Big girl on her bike

Opening presents

Two years old!