A Lesson in Priorities

For awhile now, Connor's bedroom has been quite a mess. Chris and I have been saying for months that we have to get in there and do a big cleaning and really get things organized. A few times we've started and made a ton of progress, but we always get sidetracked and it never gets done. You might think we should just send Connor up there and tell him not to come out until it's finished. But the thing is, the room hasn't had an overhaul since we moved in, so we're talking about a bedroom full of outgrown toys. Plus a closet full of stuff I've been telling him to shove in there anytime I don't know where else to tell him to put something. ("Ummm....just put it in your closet for now." As if for now had any real meaning at all.) What I'm trying to convey is that this was way more of a mess than a 9-year old boy would know what to do with on his own. I'm not totally taking the blame or responsibility off of him, because he certainly didn't help, but...I admit, it wasn't all his fault.

I'm full of excellent excuses, trust me. Most of them are even perfectly valid. And getting sidetracked is a piece of cake in this family because there is always a million things that need to be done right this minute. Things like homework, meals, laundry, dishes, errands, and work take precedence. And then...phone calls, email, vacuuming, volunteer work, and quality family time are waiting in the wings to swoop in anytime there is a spare minute. This means that big, time consuming jobs, like cleaning a very messy bedroom, tend to fall to the bottom of the list.

Until...

Last night. Connor was complaining about an upset tummy. So I sent him to bed with a bowl and prayed that he would use it if need be. After a frenetically busy couple of days, I was exhausted and was in bed before midnight (crazy!). Only to be woken up a couple hours later by a commotion. Connor had woken up and been sick. He came down to tell us, assuring Chris that he made it into the bowl. Chris went upstairs to check out the situation, and found that while, yes, he did make it into the bowl, he also made it onto a good portion of his bedroom. Let me just tell you, in case you were wondering, that you haven't lived until you've cleaned puke off of Legos. Especially at 1:30 in the morning, after being yanked out of a sound sleep.

I believe in wake up calls and serendipity and all that. And if Connor puking all over the Legos on his bedroom floor was not a call to action, I don't know what is. I'm very sorry he had to get sick for the Universe to intervene with its loud and clear message, but I can recognize a silver lining when I see one. Sometimes. Well, in this instance, at least.

Universe? If you're listening, you'll be happy to know that there are no more Legos on Connor's bedroom floor. That's because Chris and I spent a large portion of the day cleaning the heck out of Connor's bedroom. And, guess what? It's still not done. But it is more done than it has been in a long time. Let me break it down a little. Cleaning Connor's room has thus far yielded:

• Approximately two loads worth of dirty laundry, NOT including barf bedding.
• Two garbage bags full of clothes and other miscellaneous items to be donated to Salvation Army.
• Three large shopping bags full of clothes to be handed down to my godson.
• Two really big boxes completely overflowing with old toys, plus two smaller boxes.
• Three garbage bags full of trash.
• A large pile of (now) broken down empty Lego boxes to be recycled. Why the HELL were we saving these?

I'd estimate that we're about 75-80% done. Most of what is left is the annoying stuff, like figuring out what to do with the billion little things that have no real home (erasers, bookmarks, random little toys, and other inexplicably treasured objects) and going through the overflowing book shelf. I even cleaned out most of the closet. Even though it's not done (The kids had to go to bed = perfectly valid excuse!), I'm so pleased with the progress that we made today.

We got the message, alright. Connor's room needed to be cleaned. We need to stay more on top of things. We need to make an effort to be more organized. We need to get rid of things we no longer have a use for.

And we don't need so much stuff!

To me, this is the most important part of the message. I want my kids to live their lives focusing on what they can DO rather than what material things they can HAVE. DOING is better than HAVING. DOING feeds your soul in a way that HAVING cannot. There are many factors at play, contributing to my kids having too much stuff. Factors going back to my childhood, and probably Chris's too. Being the only grandchildren. Modern societal norms. Hoarding tendencies. You name it. Madonna sang about living in a material world almost 30 years ago. If anything, materialism has been exacerbated since then. What did anyone know about material possessions before we had the internet to show us, in extraordinary detail, all the fabulous things available to us, and to let us know (via the wonders of social media) how much stuff everyone else has? But that doesn't mean I want my family to live as slaves to things.

As much as I enjoy (and would prefer to keep around) many of our things, I'll take DOING over HAVING any day. Does that mean I'm ready to give up my dishwasher in favor of washing by hand? By all means, absolutely not! But I'd rather Connor had far fewer things, and more space in his bedroom with which to play with and use what he does have. I'd rather have less things and more experiences. Thank you, Universe, for the reminder. This is an ongoing lesson in my life, and one of these days it's going to stick.

...and the Mother of Year Award Slips Through My Fingers Once Again

Sometimes I am like a petulant child. That is not easy to admit, but it's the truth. I try to be flexible, and to stay positive, and to be happy. But sometimes, when things don't go my way, or the way I had visualized in my mind that they would go, I just don't flow with it very well. To put it mildly.

Today was one of those days. It wasn't a terrible day, but it wasn't what I wanted it to be, so I was ticked off all day long. All. Day. Long. I feel like there are two days in the year when I get to call the shots. One is my birthday, and the other is Mother's Day. This is probably a stupid frame of mind with which to begin any day because, number one, there are five other people living in this house; number two, four of them are children; number three, I can't control all things no matter how badly I want to believe I am entitled to do so; and number four, well, I'm a grown up and I should know better. I was so annoyed that I wasn't having the kind of Mother's Day I had been looking forward to.

Well, here's the thing I'm beginning to realize now that I'm not quite as annoyed as I was earlier in the day. I called the shots today, alright. I chose to be crabby and angry and annoyed and to cling to those feelings like a drowning man clings to a raft. I could have had a good day, a different kind of good day than the kind I wanted to have, but still good. Instead I chose to have a crappy day. I chose to be inflexible. I chose to wallow in my disappointment. Sometimes I am lead blindly by my emotions. I am caught up in a relentless tidal wave, and even though there is a part of me that knows there is a way out, I refuse to acknowledge that truth.

Nonetheless, there were a lot of good things about my day, even though I chose to hang onto the stuff that made me crazy mad and focus on those things all day. But there were good things, and right now I'm going to focus on those.

The kids woke up early, but Mattie crawled in bed with me, cuddled up, and went back to sleep. The rest of the kids left us alone until we were ready to get up.

Chris made me breakfast in bed; an omelet, cinnamon rolls, and a smoothie. He brought it at just the right time, as Mattie and I were waking up.

The kids made me nice, sweet cards. I love each of them. Really, the morning was lovely. Everyone hung around in bed with me and nibbled on my omelet and stuff.

My friend Tina delivered the new Sookie book to me, by way of our friend Aimee, so that I may read it this week before Aimee (who is the owner of the book) even gets a chance to read it. I love Tina, and seeing her smiling face made me happy.

Our moms came over, and they brought me nice little gifts. We had a good visit.

Chris made all of us a delicious dinner. It was really good, and he worked hard on it. Bethany helped a lot too.

Chris really tried to cheer me up. I remained more or less stubborn in my resolution to not be cheered, but he did try.

The moral(s) of the story is(are): My expectations are ridiculous? Maybe. I need to learn to roll with the punches? Definitely. If I want things my way so badly then I should probably prepare a little better? Yep, that too. Enjoy life and focus on the good instead of the bad? Yes! Accept that everything is not always going to end up how I want it to be? For sure!

By now you probably think I'm a complete jerk for admitting, well, that I am indeed a complete jerk. Ugh. It's embarrassing. But I'm betting I'm not the only one who has sabotaged an entire day for no good reason. Right? Right?

(awkward silence...)

Even if no one else wants to admit it, I'll take one for the team. I'll be the one to let everyone else know the truth. Sometimes I am an a-hole. Sometimes I have unrealistic expectations. Sometimes I don't appreciate the efforts of others as much as I should. Sometimes I wish I could re-do a whole day. Sometimes I feel like a massive failure of a human being.

Tomorrow is a new day. Thank goodness.

On a happier note, please be sure to enter my giveaway for a free box of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal! Just click HERE and use Rafflecopter to enter!


Also, be sure to enter the Summer Fashion Giveaway, with over $2000 in prizes! Click HERE and use Rafflecopter to enter!