Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Competition Kills Me. Literally.

I didn't get that competitive gene. Maybe it's because I never played sports, or maybe I never played sports because I don't have the gene. Hard to say which it is. And really, is it a gene? Either way, I just don't have it, whatever "it" is. Which seems so un-American of me, or something. Maybe I should try to be more competitive? Maybe I would be more successful in life if I worked on that?

I don't know. All I know is that this contest I entered is driving me up a wall. But I am trying to win, so maybe that means I actually am competitive? Hmmm. But I'm not enjoying the process. I want the prize, but I hate having to beg for votes and "sell" myself so much. Maybe I am quietly and privately competitive, but I don't like having attention focused on me, so therefore competition makes me uncomfortable? Whatever the case, the next couple weeks until the contest ends are truly going to torture me. I know I need to not stress about it, I mean it's not the end of the world if I don't win. But it sure would be sweet if I did!

Bethany is my competitive child. Every since she was very little she has not been able to stand losing. Anything. Like losing "Pretty Pretty Princess" would be enough to drive her right over the edge. Someone else getting the Queen Frostine card in Candyland would make her pretty much homicidal. She is still like this. A game of Sorry or Battleship is just not complete without some good old pouting and whining and glowering, Bethany-style. We have sort of convinced ourselves that someday this competitive streak will serve her well, along with her inability/unwillingness to take "no" for an answer. We'll call that "persistence", shall we? But I have no real experience with having a competitive nature (I don't think?), so I don't know exactly how to guide her so that she can turn it into a positive. I'm not trying to pick on Bethany, she is a strong girl who knows what she wants. As much as we are extremely alike in many ways (sometimes blows my mind, as I think of my own 5th grade self, how much we really are alike), there are just some facets of her personality that I don't get. The competitive thing is definitely one of them. Maybe I should take some pointers from her.

I know I have been harping on and on and on about this contest. As I've mentioned before, I won't really be done babbling about it until it's over...at the end of the month. But I just really felt inexplicably drawn to entering it. It is definitely outside of my comfort zone, outside of the box for me. And I do think it's important to make sure I do things that are outside my typical range of normal from time to time. Entering a contest like this might seem like a small thing, and it kind of is. But it's also kind of big. It's putting myself out there. It's focusing on me. It's asking people for help. It's thinking that just maybe I have a chance of winning this thing. Something about all of that makes me real uncomfortable, and that is generally a good indication that something is going to stretch me in some way, in a way that will help me grow. I want to be a good example to my children...an example of someone who is not afraid to do something new, of someone who is not afraid to compete (oh, but I am!) to get something she wants, someone who is not afraid to try. So even though it might kill me, I am sticking with this contest until the bitter end...pleading for votes all the way. Whether I win or lose, I will know that I tried my hardest to win. Hopefully they will remember that, and it will stick with them when they are faced with something they want to win.

Please take a moment - a quick and painless moment! - to vote for me in the Wyndham Women on Their Way contest! Just click HERE. Thank you so much, I totally appreciate every single vote!

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