The New York Dream

I have lots of dreams, and by dreams I mean life ambitions and goals. Most of them are pretty vague, which makes realizing them kind of complicated in a way I can't quite put my finger on. I have, for example, dreamed of going to New York City in this foggy unclear way since I was a tween girl reading Sassy magazine. Probably before that. Don't Judy Blume books take place in New York?

New York City is a little over 600 miles from Detroit, yet somehow it felt like I would never get there. I have been to places much further, but New York seemed somehow unattainable. Maybe because all of my dreams seemed similarly unattainable, because they are vague ideas. Yet I've continued to daydream and keep my aspirations in a safe little pocket in the back of my mind.

What I'm learning, and it's really not all that easy for a bunch of reasons, is to remain positive and hopeful, and to grab onto opportunity while I can. I wish I would have started learning this life lesson a really long time ago, but I am grateful to be learning it at all. A lot of people, a whole lot of people, never do get around to it.

Back in June, a couple old friends from high school, whom I hadn't seen in many years, happened to be in Detroit the same weekend - one from Texas, one from New York. Somehow the stars aligned for us to get together one night, along with my friend Shelly, who, like me, still lives in Michigan. We started talking about visiting Texas and how fun it would be. And then we made tentative plans to get together again a couple days later, before the two of them headed home, in opposite directions. Turns out I couldn't make the second get together, and I half jokingly texted my New York friend, saying I would just have to come and see him in New York instead. He replied, telling me that Shelly was going to be visiting NYC soon. I texted Shelly and asked her when she was going. She told me the dates and said, "You should come too."

Immediate response: dismissal. I couldn't possibly go to New York. Right? I have four kids, and money is tight (isn't it always?). And I had that whole personal crisis I talked about in this post. But here it was, this dream of mine, suddenly a whole lot less vague. Now I had a friend to go with me, a place to stay for free, an actual date. Here's something to know about your dreams. Hang on to them, and when the time is right, take a step toward making them real. One step turns into another, and that leads into another. Talk about them. Say it out loud, "I could do this." Admit to others that you're thinking about it. Ask for help. I talked to my mom and my mother-in-law to see if they could help with the kids, since Chris would be working while I was gone. Lo and behold, they said yes. One step closer. I thought some more and realized that, obviously, traveling alone costs considerably less than traveling with four kids. And that there is quite a bit to do in NYC that doesn't require spending much money. That vague, very old dream of mine was no longer blurry. It was coming into focus. Shelly started telling me about her friend's apartment, where we'd be staying, and things she thought I would like to do in New York. I started figuring out just how much this venture would cost. Things were getting specific. My dream was becoming a reality.

The universe wants to help us realize our dreams. That might sound new age-y and hokey, but I believe it. It's not magic. We have to do the work. We have to take the first step, the leap of faith. We have to keep moving, and looking for signs. We have to accept help that can make our dreams come true, and to recognize and seize opportunities. We have to believe.

I am not one to study the Bible, but this verse from Matthew 7:7 illustrates my point perfectly:

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

This is how the world works.

Often, I am so wrapped up in the mundane day to day stuff that I don't have the energy to focus on anything else. But when I do, it is more than worthwhile. How surreal it is to look back at last weekend and let it soak in that it really happened. I really did do all those things and see all those things. I read the signs and acted on the opportunities I was given, and I took a leap. Maybe it wasn't the best time to spend the money (when is it ever a good time?), but I know I will never regret that trip. I got to be just me, hanging out with my friends and sight seeing and shopping. I got to refresh. I got to do something I've always wanted to do. I know millions of people visit New York every year, and that it's not necessarily a remarkable thing. But for me, it was.

Life List Progress!

I was just looking over my (incomplete) Life List 101, and happily realized I have made a tiny bit of progress on it. It  might not be much, but something's something.

• I have potty trained Mathilda. Yes that was on my Life List. Felt like it would never happen.
• I am now about 75% in the habit of washing my face every night. I'll admit, I still have lazy nights, but I'm doing so much better that I declare it counts as progress.
• I have learned how to crochet a little bit. I haven't done it in ages, so I may have forgotten what I learned - but I'm hoping it's one of those things that comes back to you.
• I believe I'm on two years in a row of enjoying my birthday. 
• We banned the children from watching television for a month last summer. However, we made many exceptions (movie nights, etc.) so I know we can do better. They will be thrilled to know they are in for a repeat this summer!                                                  
• I'm planning a big cross-country road trip with the kids for this summer. Maybe you've noticed that I've mentioned it once or twice?

I'd say I'm doing pretty good. I haven't looked at this list in a good long while, I think I need to refer to it more often. There's one more thing that I'm working on right now, which is that I'm sort of trying out being a vegetarian. Ironically, it was always me saying, "we should be vegetarians, we should be vegetarians," and Chris saying, "no." But then a month or two ago he decided to do it. And I've sort of been following suit. I say sort of because I have still been having a little bit of meat here and there. Today I had some turkey bacon, last week I had a burrito with a little bit of chicken on it. And I want to clearly state that I'm not heading vegan at all. So that means dairy products are still in my diet (and Chris's too). At this point I have no plans of removing the dairy.

Obviously this means I've had some major dietary changes, although I didn't eat all that much eat to begin with. I don't even really miss it at this point. I've been pretty much sticking to one smoothie a day, which gets me at least 3 servings of fruits/veggies in one drink. I've written about my smoothies before, but since then I've tried some different things.

• I'm no longer using the Agave syrup, because it's full of calories and the smoothies are plenty sweet without it. 
• I rarely put milk or any other liquid in them now. 
• Sometimes I use yogurt - Greek or regular, flavored or plain - but not always. 
• I still like frozen berries, but sometimes I mix it up and use fresh.  
• I often add an orange
• I recently started using frozen pineapple (I bought them fresh, cut them up in little chunks, & froze them) and that adds a lot of flavor
• Sometimes I add fresh spinach and/or cucumber
• I usually add 4 ice cubes
• I still usually add a banana

Because I've been trying different things, they're hit or miss. It's kind of tricky getting the right amount of spinach or cucumber. If I get it wrong, the smoothies end up tasting a bit on the sludgy side.Usually they are really, really good though. I've found that it works best (in my Magic Bullet) if I add half of everything - 2 ice cubes, half an orange, half a banana, etc. - mix it up, then add the rest and continue mixing it up. I should maybe try to up it to two a day to make sure I'm getting enough of my fruits and veggies. But I do also try to eat lots of leafy green salads, apples, and whatever other veggies we might have with dinner or whatever.

We've also been eating a lot of beans - something we never ate before. And we often eat meat substitutes, as I've written about before. Some of them are great, some of them are just okay. I've been shocking myself with my willingness to try new foods. And I've been liking most of them. I'm going to try to eat more eggs for protein. Basically I have a long way to go in getting my diet really balanced the way it should be, but I think it's going okay so far. I'm not sure how far I'm going to go with the vegetarianism, but so far so good. Like I said, I don't really miss eating meat at this point. And it might be fine with me to continue having a little big of chicken or whatever a few times a month. I don't feel any more hungry than usual. My skin, however, is in fairly wretched condition. I'm not sure what's going on, but I've read that sometimes people break out for a short time when they take meat out of their diets simply because of the detoxification process. Or it could just be a coincidence.

So anyway, just thought I'd give you all a little update. I think I need to start thinking about the next 50 or so things to add to my Life List!

Do you have a Life List? Have you made a lot of progress on it?

Life List: 101 Things I Want to Accomplish In My Life

I've written before about life goals, but I've been inspired by others to expand my list. I'm going to begin with the things on my original list and add to it.

1. Become a foster parent. I've wanted to do this for years. When my kids are a little older, I'd love to provide a safe and loving temporary home for little kids. 
2. Participate in the Breast Cancer 3-Day. I think this would be such a great experience, but I need to enlist a friend or two to do it with me and help me raise funds because I really hate asking for money.
3. Run a 5K. Sounds pathetic, I know, but this would be a challenge for me and I really want to do it.  
4. Get LASIK eye surgery. Originally I also had "get contact lenses" on my list, but I did that in 2010. And I hardly wear them because I'm lazy. I'm still glad to have them for those times when I don't want to be wearing glasses. But it would be lovely to lay in bed at night and watch t.v. and not worry if I'm going to wake up laying on a pair of crushed glasses.
5. Live somewhere outside of Michigan. I don't know if I'd ever want to permanently re-locate, but I would like to live someplace outside of the mitten for awhile, preferably someplace where months of endless winter don't suck the life out of me.
6. Scuba dive. This one scares the crap out of me. I don't know if I could overcome my fear of spontaneously combusting from oxygen to the brain or something. (boy, am I my mother's child or what?) But I think it would be totally surreal to get an up-close view of life under the sea. I will at least snorkel. I can totally handle that. I think.
7. Take my kids on a major, life changing trip. My real dream is to take a family round the world trip, like my idols at sixintheworld.com did. They inspire me, as does this family . 
8. Volunteer in a third world country. I'd love if we could do this as a family someday, when the kids are a little older. It'd be great if my youngest was past the eating anything and everything she happens to see on the floor no matter where she is phase.
9. Master sewing. I'd like to be able to follow a pattern and make clothes. I don't quite aspire to be like my friend Hilary who can sew the most amazing things, like turning her husband's dress shirts into the most adorable dresses for her girls, but it would be nice cause I'm totally jealous. 
10. Learn to crochet or knit. I want to do this one this year. I need something to do with my hands while I'm watching t.v. or riding in the car. I just need someone to teach me because I don't think I'm one of those people who can pick it up from watching You Tube tutorials.
11. Go on a zip line. This one scares me too, but I think I could do it. Maybe a little Valium beforehand would do the trick. Kidding. (probably). There's one at the Grand Rapids Zoo, which I know isn't as exciting as zipping through the rain forest, but it might be more my speed.
12. Master French. French was my favorite class in high school, and I started out as a French major in college, but transferring colleges a couple times got my classes screwed up and I switched to Psychology (smart move. not.). I want to speak fluent French and understand it when I go to France someday.
13. Ride a bike again. I haven't ridden a bike since I was about 11 years old. But my aunt is giving me her bike and I'm totally going to ride it this year. I better get a helmet though cause I'm not exactly known for my grace and athleticism. I see family bike rides in my future.
14. Be in decent enough shape that I'm not mortified to be seen in public in a bathing suit. Don't worry, not a bikini (scared you there for a minute, didn't I?), that will never happen without the aid of cosmetic surgery. It's sad that the most comfortable I've been in a bathing suit in the last 10 years was when I was pregnant. Cause then it's cute to have a huge belly.
15. Go on a trip with friends. No kids. That's for Chris whose reading this and thinking, go ahead. You and the kids go ahead and take a trip with friends, what are you waiting for?
16. Go back to Jamaica where we went on our honeymoon. That was the plan for our 10th anniversary, before Chris lost his job and then almost died of a ruptured ulcer. Fun times, 2008.
17. Go to Prince Edward Island and see all the sights from Anne of Green Gables, one of my favorite series of books as a child.
18. Take a family road trip across the entire U.S. As a kid I traveled from Michigan to Arizona and California and back again a few times, but I don't remember much of it. I'm probably nuts but I just think it would be so much fun.
19. Buy a camper. Then we could take it on our cross-country trek. And lots of other places.
20. See the pyramids in Egypt. Maybe I helped build them in a former life because I have wanted to do this for as long as I can remember.
21. Get in the habit of meditating daily. I need this to calm my busy mind.
22. Take a mother/daughter, mother/son trip alone with each of my kids. Even if only for a night or two.
23. Get in the habit of washing my face every night. Again, I'm lazy. I don't wear much make-up though, so it's not totally disgusting. Just a little disgusting.
24. Get braces. The sooner the better.
25. Publish a book.
26. Potty train Mathilda. oh wait, how'd that get on here?
27. Do something fun on New Year's Eve. We need to break our tradition of boring nights in on NYE.
28. See a play on Broadway. 
29. Go back to Arizona and California and see where I lived as a kid.
30. Go cross-country skiing. 
31. Try out being a being a vegetarian for awhile. Not a vegan though. I need my cheese and ice cream, thank you very much.
32. Ban the children from watching television for a set period of time, like a month or three. Notice I didn't mention anything about the parents.
33. Learn to draw. This is another thing my mom can do but somehow never taught me. Maybe it was the poisonous lead...
34. Teach my girls to sew. Well Connor too if he's interested. Which he's not because girls do that. And girls are like so gross. But I'm totally equal opportunity and all. Once I figure out what I'm doing, I'd like to pass it on.

I'm going to continue this next time. I better quit before I fall asleep on my laptop. Which is not as uncommon as you might imagine. In the meantime I'll be thinking of more goals to add to my list.