Moody?

Here's a radical concept: you can change your own mood. Maybe (hopefully) this isn't a radical concept for you, but for me it's a rather recent revelation.  

You mean moods aren't just randomly floating throughout the atmosphere waiting for someone to walk into them, like walking into a clingy spiderweb? And once I've walked into one, I'm not just stuck with it until I happen to walk into another one? Or until someone comes along and takes it off of me, hopefully replacing it with a better one?

Wow, sounds obvious. I guess I'm just a slow learner because this concept really did not seem possible to me not so long ago.  I'm not sure it even occurred to me. Now that I'm a little more aware of my own power over myself, I've been trying to be a more positive person in general. 

(My friend Angela pointed out to me that I was getting a little negative with my last post, complaining about the snow. Okay okay okay. Keeping negativity at bay is an effort. I'm trying.)

So okay, changing your mood might not always be easy. And if you're really depressed about something, it's probably not realistic to think you can suddenly transform your mood into one of unequivocal bliss. But you can improve it. Give it a try.

(Some of us might like to stay in a little place called Melancholia once in awhile, where maybe our sadness feels comforting and warm, like a pair of wet shoes you've been wearing for way too long. Once you get them off, you realize how much better you feel without them.)

Every time I hear that song by Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten, I'm reminded that I am responsible for my own destiny.

     Feel the rain on your skin
     No one else can feel it for you
     Only you can let it in
     No one else, no one else
     Can speak the words on your lips
     Drench yourself in words unspoken
     Live your life with arms wide open
     Today is where your book begins
     The rest is still unwritten

***********

So last night I went out like I said I was going to and saw Chris's band, The Smiths United. It was so nice to go out and listen to good music and see my friends and watch everyone in the bar having a good time. Chris is channeling Morrissey, even though that might be sacrilegious and maybe impossible since Morrissey isn't dead. Chris has been working really  hard and it's paying off.  

A few weeks ago the awesome lady at Moon River Soap Company in New Baltimore (where they sell handmade all natural soaps that are helping Lucy's sensitive, eczema-prone skin) showed my friend Shelly and I how to make tissue paper flowers when I admired the ones she had hanging in the store. Shelly gave me a boat load of pink tissue paper she just happened to have laying around and luckily pink is my favorite color. I've been playing around with it and basically feeling like a failure because these flowers look easy to make but I somehow keep screwing them up. I think I'm starting to get the hang of it a little bit, and I decorated Bethany's friend's birthday present with one today. So just know, if you are a female and getting a present from me anytime soon, it will have a pink tissue paper flower on it.

 

Today was a nice sunny winter day in Michigan. We're supposed to get a huge snow storm later in the week. As long as the kids get a snow day, I'm totally fine with that.

Yes I realize these pretty icicles are probably not an indicator of healthy gutters.

 

And if they don't, I'll try really hard not to complain about it.

 

 

Preschool is Perfect

Tonight we had a special night at Lucy's preschool, the Snowball Dance. Parents are welcome to accompany their preschoolers to school, along with siblings, to listen to music, dance, have snacks, and see a magic show. We had a lot of fun, but then I started getting that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. That one that says, "just a few more months of this sublime bliss and then it's all over. Then your little girl is going to be a big shot kindergartener. Then nothing will ever be the same again." It's like the last day of school when you've just had the best year ever and had so much fun and made so many friends, and you just know that no matter what everyone promises each other, you're never going to be able to re-live the awesome school year you just had..

As I've mentioned before, I love preschool. I particularly love this preschool, where Bethany and Connor went before Lucy. Where the teachers know our family. Where I have gotten to know many families throughout the years my kids have been going there. I do have some consolation knowing Mattie will be going there next year (fall 2012).   

Yeah, I'm really going to be a mess when Mattie is in her second year of preschool. Because the thing is, there's this warm and fuzzy feeling that second year, when the kids are all growing up at such an alarming rate, they're getting to know each other, and the parents and teachers are getting to know each other pretty well by this time too. And it gets cumulatively stronger with each of my kids because this is now my 6th year of sending my kids to this school. I've known some of these families since the very beginning of my experience here, when my oldest started preschool. I know the teachers by first name and love them, trusting them wholeheartedly with the care and well-being of my babies. Which is a big deal for someone who has never hired a babysitter. Only trusted family members and friends have ever watched my kids. Leaving my oldest at preschool for the first time was daunting (although certainly not for her) because I was leaving her with strangers. That is definitely no longer the case.

Yes preschool is perfect. Lucy will enjoy the next few months of preschool class parties and birthday parties and letter days and field trips. She will have her preschool graduation and her last preschool class picnic. And I will love seeing her enjoy all of these beautiful things, knowing that in a very short time, they will be distant memories for her. We'll run into a preschool classmate in Target or at the zoo, and she won't even remember ever knowing this kid with whom she shared so many happy times. Sometimes I just wish I could freeze time.

Doing the locomotion

Last  night it snowed. It looks so pretty, I could almost imagine that I love it. Until I have to get in my van and drive in it in a little while. Then... yuck, just yuck.

View from my front door

But I do love when it looks all fresh, and all the tree branches are covered in snow. I'm definitely kicking the kids outside to play today. After they're done cleaning the house.

However, as pretty as it looks, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be heartbroken if I never saw it again. I would have my memories to sustain me. Memories of shoveling, getting my van stuck at the end of my driveway, slipping on ice, sliding all over icy roads (hello? salt trucks? why have you forsaken us????), piles of dingy gray mush that used to be snow and that will linger in random lumps on roadsides and in parking lots until mid-April.  Yep, I'm pretty sure my memories would be enough to get me through the rest of my life snowless.                                                        

View from my back door

Life List 101 Update

First of all, I've added a page for my Life List, you can see the link for it above (below the blog title and picture). I will update the page when I add new things to my list or accomplish anything on it. 

I've been reading Run Like A Mother, by Sarah Bowen Shea and Dimity McDowell, to help get  me into the running mindset (so I can accomplish #3 on my list - Run A 5K). I also run in place in my family room while doing the Wii Fit. Stop laughing. I know it's so not like real running, but at least maybe I am beginning to train my lungs not to burst into flames. I'm planning to buy a jogging stroller, hopefully in the next month or so, and my friend Julie told me about a 5K in May that we could maybe do together. 

I have a few additions to my list. After I got through the first 34, I've been finding it more difficult to think of more things I want to add. 

Also, I want to encourage anyone reading this to go ahead and make your own list. Keep it private or tell everyone like I'm doing. But do it for yourself. It's a fun activity to get you excited about your life. (Wait a minute. Am I channeling Dr. Phil?) It'll make you think about what you want to get out of life, because cliche as it is, life is what we make of it. Make it something good.

35. Learn to play the piano. Just a little would be fine. We have this piano sitting in our living room, someone is going to learn how to play the darn thing.
36. Get on a vitamin regiment. Learn about what I should be taking and do it every day. I've been taking calcium supplements for a couple months now, but I know there is more I should be doing. 
37. Transform my bedroom into a restful oasis; a clean, tidy and organized place Chris and I can go to relax. As the only room with a door on our first floor (besides the bathroom), our bedroom is generally the catch-all where we shove everything extraneous anytime we're expecting company. I want it to be beautiful and peaceful instead. 
38. Get in a regular habit of rotating one-on-one time with each of the kids. We don't even have to leave the house, but it would be great if we did at least once a month or so.
39. Organize all of my photos, both digital and print. This is going to be a huge job, and when I'm done with my own, Chris's mom has tons of old pictures in her attic that I'd like to get in new albums. 


That's all I can think of for now, but I will be working on adding more. If you make your own list, I'd love you to share it with me. At least some of it. Please. I'm nosy, but I could also use some inspiration.

I Hate To Admit This, But I Think I'm Becoming A Homebody

Lately I am perfectly content to never leave the house. I got this absolutely divine Eddie Bauer blanket for Christmas, and I have these perfectly plump pillows (look at that alliteration! and it's not even "P" day...), and truthfully, I would be pretty dang happy to do nothing but lay on the couch day after day with my blanket, pillow, and laptop, barking orders and delivering commands. (I don't really bark. Much.)

"You need help with your homework? Bring it here. No you can't use my blanket."

"Can't you people hear the phone?. Can someone get that?"

"Someone bring me the baby so I can change her diaper. Don't forget the diaper and wipes."

"Lucy wants a snack. Who's going to get it for her?"

"I think the dog needs to go out." 

Honestly I'm not very good at delegation, but I think I'm learning.

I'm pretty sure the entire problem is this whole winter thing that's going on. The thought of going outside and being cold just exhausts me. My blanket is so warm and cozy. Why leave it if I don't have to?  

Yes sometimes I do leave the couch. These people keep dirtying clothes and dishes. Sometimes I have to cook for them. I try really hard to do a bare minimum 20-30 minute workout most days. And let's not forget the driving done to facilitate the fetching and delivering of children. 

I am going out this weekend. I'm going to see Chris's band, The Smiths United, play. Like at the bar. So like I have to actually have real clothes on under my coat. (You should totally go too. What's not to love about a Smiths tribute band? Unless you don't like the Smiths, but that would be blasphemy.) 


So yeah, hopefully when the weather starts improving I'll get over my couch potato homebody existence. No, I definitely will. But somebody better hide this blanket from me.

They Say It's Your Birthday

Actually Chris's birthday. And it was yesterday. He wanted to stay home all day and just hang around watching movies and stuff. So my mom and his parents came over for pizza and I made cake.

                                                         It looked pretty good in the pan.

While I am unfortunately not much of a cook, I do enjoy baking. Mainly because I love sweets almost to the exclusion of all other foods. So I had a box of chocolate cake mix, but I wanted to do something different with it, so I found this recipe for meringue-swirled chocolate cake on the Betty Crocker website. Well it was my first time making meringue, so let's just say it didn't look so pretty once I took it out of the springform pan. Nor was it quite as intact.

 

                                               This is what an overcooked meringue-swirled chocolate cake looks like.


I followed the directions exactly, but I guess I should have shaved about 10-15 minutes off the baking time. But it tasted good, kind of like a sweet, crunchy cookie coating. I think I'll try this one again another time, and maybe not forget about it until the oven buzzer goes off so that I actually check on it, to, you know, make sure it's not getting ruined.    

The kids put together a little routine for Chris, to the Beatles "Birthday Song". Can I just say I love that my 9-year old daughter has Beatles music on her iPod? We'll just ignore for a moment the rest of the crap she has on there.

 
My own birthday will be here in a couple weeks, and my birthday is always a depressing day for me. This year I resolve to enjoy my birthday. In fact I think I'm going to add that to my Life List - Enjoy My Birthday Every Year. I will prepare myself to have a great day. Okay I have some time to get myself hyped up, I'll do my best.