Friday's Letters

Dear Trader Joe's: I like to pretend I'm all interested  in shopping for healthy stuff when I visit you. But really I just want chocolate. You have good chocolate. Thank you. Dear Bethany: I'm sorry I took my Trader Joe's chocolates with me when I left the house today. Well not really, because I know that you and your friends would have probably gobbled them all up if I'd left them at home. I should have hid them better, then you would have never found them and would have no idea that I'm withholding chocolate from you. Dear Avocado: I had no idea you'd be so good in a smoothie. Who would have thought that I would ever even be discussing eating avocado? Dear My Old Friend Shelly: You look great and I'm gonna be super jealous when you're rocking a bikini this summer. Because I won't be. Rocking a bikini. Dear Castaway Bay: I am really excited to visit you next week. I need a couple days in which I can lounge in a pool and pretend it's summertime. Dear Michigan Weather: Are you serious? 60s and teens in the same week? Snow, rain, ice, wind, mud...we've seen it all this week. And I don't think anyone is amused. Dear Self: Why do have to keep having this conversation about sleep? Really? Just go to sleep at a reasonable hour and life will be so much easier! Dear Genes That are Causing My Hair to Turn Grey at an Alarming Rate: People are going to start offering me senior discounts if  you don't cut it out! I intend to make a hair appointment...sometime in the next 3-9 months or so...in the meantime, stop already! Dear Cleopatra: I have to admit, it kind of freaks me out when you stand at the top of the basement stairs staring intently into the darkness. If only dogs could talk, I could find out if you're staring at a speck of dust or a beastly basement demon. Dear Weekend: Thank goodness you're here!