My Baby and Me

I grew up as an only child, with an abundance of quiet, something that's in extremely short supply around here. As a kid I would visit friends who had brothers and/or sisters and wish for that sort of chaotic life, with people coming and going, friends in and out, everything buzzing with activity and noise. My mom grew up in a family of 7 kids, and I benefited with lots of aunts and uncles and cousins. I thought it sad that someday my kids would grow up without the large extended family that I loved so much. For these reasons, among others, I wanted to have my own big family. 

My wish has come true. I mean, we're no Duggars, but in today's world a family with four kids is generally viewed as large. And I love it. I love that my kids permeate my life. Even though I hate the messes and clutter, I also love the little reminders of their existence everywhere. Sitting on the couch, I might pull out from the cushions someones pj's from the night before, or a story book, or a lost homework assignment, or just about anything else you can imagine. Cleaning out under the couch I'll find, along with the dust bunnies and dog hair, toy cars, blocks, hair accessories, school projects, books, and all kinds of other evidence that lots of children live and play in this house.

I've grown used to the noise gradually as my children, one by one, have grown and learned to use their voices. And the televisions, computers, iPods, electronic toys, video games, and various musical instruments in this house. Sometimes it gets to me. Sometimes it's hard to be heard over the cacophony. But to hear the noise my children make is a loud reminder of their presence, a reminder that I'm surrounded by my very own family. And I love that. (When I don't have a piercing headache, I love that.)

Lazy Sunday morning cuddling

This weekend, three of my kids have been gone, out of town with Chris's mom and step-dad. Chris and I have been home with just Mathilda. Our house has been peaceful and quiet. We can clearly hear Mathilda giggling and talking without her having to compete with any other kids. When she's napping, there's no other children to tend to. She has us all to herself and that is pretty cool. As much as I love the chaos of my everyday life, it's been nice to live quietly for a few days, and to only be inundated with the demands of one child versus four. This weekend has brought to mind the sweet 18-month period when we were brand new parents with only one child. I am missing my other three babies, but it has been fun really being able to focus on Mathilda, and I am so grateful for this opportunity.