Sometimes I don't think I feel any different than I did in high school. I still feel like a kid. I want to call my mom whenever I don't know what to do. Other people try to make decisions for me, which doesn't help me feel mature and independent. I definitely don't always feel like I can live freely as an adult - that goes for Chris and I both. My perception is that I am perhaps expected to remain childlike.
Other times I feel old. I look at pictures of our family when it was just Chris, Bethany, and I; and I was really young then. My life has since changed drastically. It hits me that I can remember my grandparents being the same age that my parents and in-laws are now; and that they seemed so old at the time. Life speeds by and it's surreal. I have four kids, and I'm going grocery shopping and doing laundry and driving my monkeys all over the place and making grown-up decisions a million times a day. It hits me that I have more freedom than I sometimes feel like I have.
I think about what it will be like when our parents get older; stuff no one wants to think about. I think everyone hopes their parents will never need to go into a nursing home, or need a lot of care. We don't want to think of our parents needing assistance or being helpless in any way. I'm my mom's only child, which may someday be a huge responsibility.
I have lots of dreams of traveling someday, or maybe even leaving Michigan, at least temporarily. But leaving our parents could be a concern. Hopefully, if need be, we'll be able to find a service such as New Jersey elder care, where home health aids and nurse assistants come to the home to help seniors. I think that NJ senior care is a great solution for some circumstances. Hopefully, if we needed it, something like this will be available here in Michigan.
What about you? Is age just a number to you? Do you feel old, or do you still feel like a spring chicken?
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1 comment:
Funny, I was just thinking this same thing the other night. I'm 36 years old, and I really don't feel any different than I did in my early 20's. I am getting closer to freaking 40 than I am to 30 now, and I still don't feel like a grown up. I act like one, but I don't feel like one.
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